Can Traumatic Experiences Promote Personal Growth?

Amy Taylor October 11, 2013

Not everyone who endures a traumatic event is scarred by it. Many people are able to live normally even after suffering from emotionally distress. In fact, some of them even achieve personal growth and positive psychological changes. Such growth does not undo the negative experiences, but may co-exist with them. Sometimes, it is a result of therapeutic intervention and emotional support given to victims of trauma.

Can Negative Experiences Be Good For You?

A huge body of research has shown that negative experiences can promote personal growth in several ways. First off, social support and relationships with others are key predictors for psychological recovery on people exposed to traumatic events like accidents, war zone deployment, bereavement, or serious illness. Whilst difficult moments are a time of great distress, they can also be a good opportunity to deepen our relationships with other people, especially our friends, family and loved ones. During difficult times, we may learn to appreciate more the kind of relationships we have, and be grateful for people who have always been there to listen, care for us, and give us support.

Traumatic experiences can break us into pieces, but they can also make us more courageous and self-loving. Many survivors of trauma tend to think that they have experienced it because they “deserve” it. For instance, children experiencing neglect and maltreatment may think it is their fault that their parents don’t love them. Without proper intervention, they can get “stuck” into this perspective. Sometimes, negative experiences can help us learn how strong we really are to tolerate undesirable emotions.

Moreover, negative experiences provide us an opportunity to change our ways for the better. For example, being diagnosed of cancer can encourage a person to give up unhealthy habits like smoking or substance abuse, and be more conscious about his or her health. Traumas may also promote spiritual change. In a research on bereaved mothers conducted by Dr Daniel N. McIntosh of the University of Denver, religion speed up psychological recovery by helping people to find meaning, and by connecting them to a supportive and engaged community.

Lastly, traumatic experiences may help us develop greater appreciation in life. Many people begin to heal following a stressful event by connecting with simple pleasures of life, such as spending more time with family and friends, taking nature walks, and the like.

Recovering from a Traumatic Experience

Again, not all who survive traumatic experiences are able to fully recover. If you have experienced a traumatic event that gives you persistent feelings of distress, it can be helpful to think about your personal strengths that have helped you survive. That is something you should be proud of. Also, think about what you learned from going through difficulties and how you can apply them in your life to make it more meaningful. Think about the things that make you happy and make your life more meaningful. They probably are your family, your friends, your work, your children, your faith. Focusing on the positive side of life is one way to speed up healing from trauma. And lastly, realise that growth may co-exist with pain so there will be ups and downs. Learning some coping mechanisms and stress management techniques can make “bad” days easier to bear.