About Carol Graham @ The North Hampshire Clinic
Hello, I’m Carol Graham, I’m a Psychotherapist, Sex & Relationship Therapist & Advanced Hypnotherapist.
- You can find me in my clinic at The North Hampshire Clinic at The Square, Basing View in Basingstoke. The centre is a haven of relaxation. I also work at the Camrose Medical Partnership, St Andrew’s Centre, Western Way, Basingstoke.
- I can guarantee you a completely non-judgemental environment, a safe place to speak freely, where you will feel listened to and will very quickly feel comfortable. I follow a strict code of ethics and confidentiality is assured*.
- Psychotherapy is simply therapy for the mind. Every single thing we do starts with a thought, therefore, psychotherapy can help with most things such as: anxiety, stress, confidence and self-esteem issues, weight and body image issues, fears and phobias, addictions, depression, habits etc. The list really is endless. I also specialise in sex and relationship issues; (See Psychosexual Therapy and Couples Therapy pages).
- Each and every client is unique and deserves a unique programme of therapy. After a thorough assessment, I create a tailor made programme of therapy, designed specifically for your individual needs.
- Over the past ten years I have trained in many different models and disciplines and have adopted an eclectic approach to the therapy that I offer as I believe that one therapy cannot suit everybody. Therefore, I have many "tools" techniques and strategies in my "tool box". The programmes that I create could contain a combination of any of the following therapies;
- Counselling, Psychosexual Therapy, Hypnotherapy, Couples Therapy, Gestalt Therapy, Hypnoanalysis, Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT), Parts Therapy, Archetypal Personality Related Parts Therapy, BWRT® (BrainWorking Recursive Therapy), Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), Emo-trance, Energy Medicine, and Life Coaching.
- I am a registered member of the British Association of Counsellors and Psychotherapists (BACP), and a general member of the College of Sex and Relationship Therapy (COSRT), both of which require me to follow a strict code of conduct, performance and ethics.
Many people find talking about their sex lives quite difficult, especially when it’s not working well for them. Individuals, who may have been living with sexual problems for some time, may find it too difficult, and feel embarrassed or ashamed to discuss it with anyone, including their partners.
- I offer a comfortable, non-judgemental environment, where you can talk about any issues you may be having with your sex life, whether you are an individual or a couple. You will be able to talk openly, and confidentially.
- Psychosexual Therapy sessions do not involve any examinations, or tests. You will not be required to undress and any intimate exercises included in the treatment would be carried out in your own home, privately.
- Psychosexual Therapy is a talking therapy and allows Individuals and Couples to explore and assess their sexual problems and the thoughts, behaviours and other factors that may be contributing to them.
- Sex therapy is open to all adults of all ages whether you are currently in a relationship or not;
- I work with Heterosexual, Bisexual, Lesbian, Gay, Transgender and other sexual minority couples and individuals.
- Some of the issues psychosexual therapy can help with include:
Loss of sexual interest or desire, painful intercourse, erectile dysfunction, vaginismus, dyspareunia, orgasm difficulties, arousal disorders, ejaculation problems (premature, delayed, dry, early), inability to achieve penetrative sex, sex avoidance, menopause, vaginal dryness, fear of sex, addictions (love, sex, pornography), inhibitions, fetishes, confusion (identity, gender, sexuality), lack of sex education, infidelity, poor body image, sexually unfulfilled.
This list is by no means exhaustive. In a nutshell, if your sex life isn’t as enjoyable as you would like it to be, and you would like to discuss it in a way that is safe and healthy please contact Carol Graham at The North Hampshire Clinic for further information.
- I believe Psychotherapy/Counselling should be available to everyone. You do not need a referral from your GP to seek therapy sessions at The North Hampshire Clinic, you can self-refer. If you think you may have a problem affording the therapy sessions, please do speak to me about this as I do some of my work at a lower cost.
- Whatever sort of relationship you are in, whatever difficulties you may be experiencing; Couples therapy helps you to verbalise, explore and resolve those difficulties in a safe, non-judgemental environment.
- If you want your partner to listen to you, understand what you’re saying and see you with fresh eyes. If you just can’t communicate effectively and need to be heard, then Couples Therapy will be sure to help you.
- Couples come to therapy for a variety of reasons. To name a few; inability to communicate, money problems, addictions, affairs, lack of sexual desire, sexual dysfunctions, conflict, differences of opinion, jealousy, insecurity.
- At The North Hampshire Clinic, couples’ therapy begins with a thorough assessment process which you will attend together and, occasionally, individually. You can discuss all aspects of your relationship, what’s working and what isn’t. Once the assessment is complete, a plan will be formulated and presented to you both. At this point I will explain the treatment and what is involved. You can discuss how and when your sessions will progress and any areas of concern you have. For those with sexual issues, please be assured that you will not be expected to carry out any intimate exercises in the sessions. Neither would you be expected to undress or to be examined or tested.
- My role is to not take sides; I remain neutral at all times and act in the best interests of the relationship. I will only work for the relationship; something that I will encourage you both to do too. It is not my role to save your relationship but to facilitate your process, help you explore and communicate and to hold you both in a safe space whilst you journey to a place and time where you are able to re-connect. For some couples however, they themselves reach the conclusion that they have come to the end of the road and that it is time to part.
- It is difficult to say how many sessions a couple would need as everyone, and every relationship is unique. However, in most cases, it can take 6 – 12 sessions. Longer for more complex work.
- I believe Psychotherapy/Counselling should be available to everyone. You do not need a referral from your GP to seek therapy sessions at The North Hampshire Clinic, you can self-refer.
- Forget swinging watches, deep sleep, and having your mind controlled. That is the work of Stage hypnotists who very often have their subjects clucking like chickens and such like, purely for the entertainment of an audience.
- Hypnotherapy is simply therapy whilst you are in a state of Hypnosis (deep relaxation). Hypnosis is the place between complete wakefulness and sleep. It’s like the semi-conscious state you are in when you are daydreaming. You naturally experience hypnosis numerous times throughout the day, when you are waking up and just before you fall asleep. Often, when you are driving, watching television or reading, you may be unaware of your surroundings and just be in a world of your own. In these moments you are in a natural state of hypnosis.
My training, work experience and any achievement
Carol Graham DHP. (Adv.), HPD. B.A. Hyp, E.Hyp,
Other concerns & issues I deal with
- There are a few ejaculatory disorders with premature or early ejaculation being the most common male sexual problem. Premature ejaculation occurs when the man does not have voluntary conscious control or the ability to choose, in most encounters, when to ejaculate and experiences his orgasm too early, either before intercourse or very soon after penetration.
- On the other end of the spectrum is Male Orgasmic Disorder which used to be known as delayed or retarded ejaculation. This is when the man suffers an inability to ejaculate during penetrative sex. Some men do manage to ejaculate eventually but it can take so long that intercourse can become painful for both parties. This already distressing condition has further frustration for the couple who are trying to concieve.
- Retrograde ejaculation is a rarer type of ejaculation problem. It happens when sperm travels backwards and enters the bladder instead of coming out of the end of the urethra (the tube through which urine passes). Symptoms of this would be ejaculating only a very small amount of semen and the passing of cloudy urine.
- There are medications to assist premature ejaculation/early ejaculation (some anti-depressants called SSRIs), which can delay ejaculation, however, psychosexual therapy should also be considered and can help a great deal.
- Psychosexual therapy/counselling is also recommended for Male Orgasmic Disorder (delayed ejaculation) as there is currently no medication for this condition which is considered to be of psychological origin.
- Retrograde ejaculation is an organic (physical) condition which is does not cause harm to the body and does not inhibit a sexual sex life. However, it would obviously be a problem for those trying to concieve. This condition cannot be help by Psychosexual therapy.
Vaginismus, Dyspareunia, Painful Sex
- Vaginismus is the recurrent or persistent involuntary spasm of the muscles surrounding the vagina that interferes with intercourse.
- This condition can present with or without pain and can be situational (only present at specific times, places or in certain conditions).
- When attempting intercourse, there is an involuntary tightness of the vagina, The tightness is actually caused by involuntary contractions of the pelvic floor muscles surrounding the vagina. The woman does not directly control or ’will’ the tightness to occur; it is an involuntary pelvic response. She may not even have any awareness that the muscle response is causing the tightness or penetration problem.
- In some cases vaginismus tightness may begin to cause burning, pain, or stinging during intercourse. In other cases, penetration may be difficult or completely impossible. Vaginismus is the main cause of unconsumated relationships. The tightness can be so restrictive that the opening to the vagina is ’closed off’ altogether and the man is unable to insert his penis. The pain of vaginismus ends when the sexual attempt stops, and usually intercourse must be halted due to pain or discomfort.
- Dyspareunia is a recurrent pattern of genital pain which can be experienced by a male or a female before, during or after penetration. In women this can often be confused with Vaginismus. There are numerous possible causes of genital pain in men and women.
- If you are experiencing pain I would recommend a visit to your GP to check whether there is a physical reason for your discomfort. Once the possibility of a physical origin has been eliminated, a Psychosexual Therapist can then explore and help you with the psychological, or relational factors that may be playing a part in these very uncomfortable conditions.
- Male Erectile Disorder known more commonly as Erectile Dysfunction is the inability to get or to maintain an erection. Erectile Disorder may also involve a lessened or absent sense of excitement or pleasure.
- The reason for this may be due to a number of psychological, physiological, relationship or situational factors. If you have erection difficulties, you come from a very large group of men!
- While any problem with sex is upsetting for a man, nothing generates more anxiety, shame and even terror as the inability to get or maintain erections. Men have been taught to tie their self respect to the upward mobility of their penises, and when they do not rise to the occasion, they complain that they no longer feel like men. As a result of their erectile difficulties, men often report that they are embarrassed, discouraged, depressed and even suicidal.
- Once it has been established by a GP or Urologist that the problem is not a physiological one, a Psychosexual Therapist can then help to explore the psychological, relational and situational factors that may be attributing to your erectile difficulties.
Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder (HSDD)
- Hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD) also known as Inhibited sexual desire (ISD) is a medical condition with only one symptom: low sexual desire. A person with HSDD seldom, if ever, engages in sexual activities. They don’t initiate or respond to a partner’s sexual overtures.
- A lack of interest in sex, low libido, or low sex drive; to name a few commonly used terms for this issue, may not necessarily be HSDD. For the lack of desire to be a disorder, it has to cause distress or interpersonal difficulty for the person concerned.
- Problems concerning low sexual desire, in men and women, are among the most challenging sexual problems for clinicians to diagnose, assess and treat. They are often associated with other sexual problems, psychological disorders and medical conditions.
- There’s no true normal range for sexual desire because it naturally fluctuates throughout life.
- People seek help for desire disorders when it puts stress on their relationships. However, the problem isn’t always a case of HSDD. One partner may have an overactive sexual desire. This creates a ‘sexual mismatch,’ which also puts undue strain on a relationship.
- The main symptom of orgasmic disorder is the inability to achieve sexual climax. Having unsatisfying orgasms or taking longer than normal to reach climax are also symptoms.
- A person with orgasmic disorder, also sometimes referred to as orgasmic dysfunction, anorgasmia, or in men delayed ejaculation, may have difficulty achieving orgasm during either sexual intercourse or masturbation. A person may be diagnosed with Female Orgasmic Disorder or Male Orgasmic Disorder, though it is less common for men, when the condition is causing distress or interpersonal difficulties. The condition is referred to as primary when the individual has never experienced orgasm through any means of stimulation. It is called secondary if an individual has attained an orgasm in the past but is currently non-orgasmic.
- For men, the disorder might present itself as an inability to reach orgasm during sexual intercourse or as ejaculation only after prolonged intense non-intercourse stimulation.
- ’BWRT®’ stands for ’BrainWorking Recursive Therapy®’, a model of psychology and psychotherapy created by UK professional therapist, Terence Watts, MCGI.
- It’s a totally confidential method that does not require you to reveal your private information or personal secrets to your therapist and it is carried out in a completely conscious state. It does not use hypnosis or any concepts that might be considered mystical or unscientific - it’s completely logical, practical and down-to-earth, and for it to succeed only needs you to know what you want to change in your life.
- Only Certified Practitioners have been trained to deliver BWRT® and all have to adhere to a strict ethical code. Find out more at http://www.bwrt.org
- Psychosexual Therapy
Special Online Booking Offers
Low Income/Student Concessions:
I believe that psychotherapy/counselling sessions should be available for all, therefore I am able to offer a limited number of lower cost sessions each week for people who are unemployed, people in low income households and students. Please do not hesitate to ask if you believe you fall into one of these categories and wish to be considered. Please be aware, that there is sometimes a waiting list for these sessions.
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