Controlling Emotions that Come with Failure - Dealing with Setbacks and Bouncing Back

Monica Wilson June 25, 2020

 Quick – identify people you know who haven’t committed mistakes all their life. Bet you couldn’t point out even one. History wise, even the most intelligent people and leaders commit mistakes and fail many, many times.

Human nature tells us to feel sad and disappointed every time we fail.  That’s normal. What’s important is that we know how to address those feelings and turn the rocks into touchstones.

Maybe you’ve missed the deadline, obtained poor results in your exam, or got rejected on your dream job. These terrible things can make our life miserable, which can then lead to serious mental and emotional problems such as depression and anxiety disorder. So before you get to that, here are some tips to control your emotions and handle failure.

1.  Accept that some people are better at some things than you are.

We all have our own set of strengths weaknesses. Some people are gifted with certain talents that make them standout in their chosen fields. So at times, you will lose. But that doesn’t mean you’re no better than them. You too, have special talents and skills that will drive you to success, at the right time 

2.  Acknowledge the fact that losing hurts.

The best way to get over the negative emotions that come with failing is to acknowledge and accept the fact that you will sooner or later experience it. Start worrying if it doesn’t make you feel frustrated. But just like a wound that heals, these negative feelings will go away, and eventually, you will feel better.

3.  Determine what exactly you are going through.The first step towards dealing with failure is to determine what emotions you are feeling right now. Is it anger? Is it desperation? When you know the problem, you will be able to find the best solutions.

4.  Focus on what could be done to prevent the mistake from happening again.

According to Martin Seligman, the father of psychology, the key to dealing with failure is to redirect your attention to what is specifically changeable in the problem at hand. By reframing the way you think into something positive, you can always find better solutions for the problems brought about by your mistakes.

5.  Let go for a moment

These emotions that you feel might be so overwhelming. Yet, they usually unlock the doors towards learning. For instance, feeling frustrated might drive you towards changing for the better while boredom motivates you to look for another career, and so on. Sometimes, you just have to taste the bitterness of failing. Soon, the reward is something sweeter. 

Nonetheless, failing is never an excuse to give up on your chosen business or craft. Instead of feeling bad about it, use it to learn more and do better next time. And lastly, make it your stepping stone to achieve success!

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